Three Oh! Two
High Weight: 302.5
Lowest Weight: 251
Current Weight: 286.6
Pounds Lost: 15.9
Weigh-ins:
11/24 - 286.6
Mini Goal #1: Break into the 250's.
Mini Goal #2: BMI under 40 (morbidly obese).
There are 600 calories in a medium hashbrown from White Castle
breakfast….touche White Castle…touche
Last week: 289.9
This week: 287.4
Success Loves, Success!
On the other hand….yesterday the scale told me I weighed 284.4…..so…I
don’t know about that. I cerainly did not gain 3 pounds in a day
considering I ate a net of about 1900 calories. Hmm…Me thinks I need to
drink more water!
Noms so far today:
Emerald nuts Breakfast to go Smore’s: 200
Small Banana:100
2 pieces of dark chocolate:84
Today I feel:
Like a badass
I will not jinx myself by stating what the scale said today, since I weigh in on Wednesdays but..OMG yay!
289.2
It sucks. Next week it WILL be less. Word.
You know…I’ve stayed away from this blog for a long time because I’ve
been pretty ashamed about what I’ve let happen, or what I’ve done to my
body. Today I weighed in at 289.9 pounds. Which is only 12.6 pounds under
my highest weight of 302.5. I’m horribly ashamed of that. My face is fat,
my body is flabby and I just feel horrible.
But I decided that I’m not going to let shame keep me from my goals. Today
didn’t start off so great….I am trying to stay at 1600 calories a day.
It’s proving so so so hard. But I know I can do it.
My problem, I think, is that I have no healthy food so I keep eating fast
food. Did you know an 8 inch chicken teriyaki from Penn Station has over
800 calories? I found it out and threw the fries away. Tonight I’m headed
to the gym because now I have under 400 calories left for the day….by the
way….its only 12:44.
I’m going to do this day by day and I WILL succeed.
If anyone feels inclined to check on me and keep me motivated I could use
the encouragement.
It’s no surprise to all of you that I am having a hard time. The hardest
time actually…like, I pay $100 a week to see a therapist so that I don’t
eat everything that comes across my path and then start eating items like
lamps. But you know what you guys? It’s working.
This is the start of my second month in therapy and almost overnight I feel
like I’m better able to control myself. Weird, I know…
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I’m almost back to my beginning
weight, the dreaded 302(.5) pounds that started this journey. I’m currently
at 288. When I got down to 251 I remember feeling good about myself but not
seeing a huge difference. I felt like I was never going to get THERE, you
know the magical skinny place where all your problems disappear and you
feel amazing about yourself and everything wants to have sex with you. You
KNOW the place I’m talking about.
The thing IS that NOW that I’m really heavy again there are things that I
notice that suck that did NOT happen to me 50+ pounds lighter:
Weak Weak Weak muscles
- Shortness of breath
- Feeling like I’m suffocating in my own body
- Heart palpitations
- High blood pressure
- Serious Fatigue
- Not fitting in ANY of my clothes
- Low self esteem
- Low sex drive
- Trying on everything in my closet and feeling awful in everything
- Having little self worth
These are things I did not feel 50 pounds lighter. I was more outgoing,
happier, liked what I saw in the mirror. Needless to say I want zero
pictures taken of me. It’s affecting my relationships with others. It’s
just NOT good.
I saw that Liz at 125 was doing a 21 days to break a habit series and I
decided to jump on the band wagon. I’m going to start checking back in with
10% in 4 as well, I mean obviously I am like in the negative but still, I
need accountability. The storm cloud is lifting and I’m going to put myself
as a little more of a priority.
Happy New Year guys. I’ve been thinking about all of you.
Saturday December 17, 2011
Butter - Salted, 1 tbsp 102 0 12 0 Add Food
282 32 17 6 Lunch Chipotle - burrito w/chicken, steak, black beans, sour cream, cheese, lettuce, guacamole, 1 burrito 1,316 0 0 0 Barq’s - Fountain Root Beer, 12 fl oz/ 1 can 160 45 0 0 Add Food
1,476 45 0 0 Dinner King’s Hawaiian - Original Hawaiian Sweet Rolls, 1 roll (28 g/1oz) 90 16 3 3 Butter - Salted, 1 tbsp 102 0 12 0 Bertolli Shrimp Scampi & Linguini - Skillet Dinner, 340 g 550 55 24 18 Add Food
742 71 39 21 Snacks Edible Arrangements - Chocolate Dipped Strawberry, 2 Strawberry 120 0 2 2 Hershey Kiss - Milk Chocolate Kisses, 9 Pieces 200 25 12 3 Add Food
320 25 14 5 Totals 2,820 173 70 32 Your Daily Goal 2,600 358 87 98 Remaining -220 185 17 66 Calories Carbs Fat Protein
This looks so yummy!
Who needs ice cream when you can have frozen bananas? My family enjoyed these delicious treats for desserts!
- 2 bananas
- Fage Total 0% Greek Yogurt
- crushed almonds
- cinnamon
- Line a tray with parchment paper.
- Mix the Greek yogurt and cinnamon together.
- Peel the bananas.
- Cut off an end off from each banana, then insert the popsicle sticks.
- Coat the bananas in Greek yogurt and almonds.
- Lay the bananas on the parchment paper and freeze for 45-55 minutes. The bananas will be creamy and firm, but not completely frozen.
(via th3skinny)
Ok. ladies. Confession. My husband and I separated. I’ve been in crisis mode. I’ve gained weight, I haven’t taken care of myself, I’ve been stress eating, its been bad.
I’m going through a horribly rough time and I’m not doing anything for myself. I’ve been absent. I’m so sorry.
However, this isn’t a post to gripe. I need your help. I’m going to (start today) write down everything I eat on this here blog. If I don’t write for a day I need you ladies to get on me for it. I need messages and if you have my number calls or texts. I’m going through such a rough time and I need some encouragement. I have been eating comfort foods and I know that isn’t good for me.
My goal for this week: Saturday, December 17 - Saturday December 24
- Track everything I eat on my fitness pal/the blog
- Exercise 3 days a week even if its only for 30 minutes
Right now this is all I can do. I’m in survival mode but I will NOT balloon all the way up to 302 lbs again. I will not do it.
This stops now.
I cannot control everything (anything) that happens to me.
I cannot control the way others feel about me.
I cannot change the past.
I cannot predict the future.
I cannot take back my mistakes.
I CAN control what I put into my body.
I CAN control how I choose to fuel myself and my brain.
I CAN choose strength.
